That doesn't mean he hasn't thought about it, though, sometimes, in the dark hours of the night. It's... hard to admit, but he has to.

"I've wanted to. Once in a while. I've never... I've always been part of them. I don't know how to exist if I'm not part of them. Supporting them. Giving them money and doing grocery shopping and living every hour of every day for them. Without that... what am I?"

God what a crisis.